2020 must have been the toughest year for so many people.

Where do I even begin? When I first wrote this and kept this as a draft, I meant to say that this year, the family mourned for the loss of a member in the extended family. As rewrite this entry again, it's with deep regret that I say that another family member has passed away. He was only 32. 

When a life is loss, especially when you realise that there's a whole life ahead of that person... what do make of it? This random quote I stumbled upon sums up all that I'm feeling. "You were unsure which pain is worse -- the shock of what happened or the ache for what never will." 

There are just too many bad news. People battling cancer, news of suicides, friends battling depression... the list goes on. Such much... pain, disappointments, fear, uncertainty. 

Then there's this coronavirus in the background. All of us are directly feeling the effects of it. Coronavirus took the whole world by the storm and it no one was prepared for it. 

I can't begin to fathom how the "Covid-19 pandemic" Wikipedia page will be able to contain the wealth of information of this event that will certain go down as one of the most significant moments in history. 

The world became paralysed. Indeed, the current situation has set up the perfect stage for the corrupted people in power to continue to rule according to their whims and fancies, without being held accountable. 

We've heard and seen enough examples from ministers who continue to impose restrictions at the pretence of containing the spread of the disease but normal citizens are immediately slapped and punished as offenders, being made an example with harsh penalties. All the same time, politicians are let loose to do as they wish. They can get away with it, openly. No further action as they say. We're mad. But it's not just us. This situation is by no means, exclusive to Malaysia. Plenty of reports worldwide of politicians flouting the very own restrictions they impose on ordinary folks who are struggling. India, Nepal, are just some of the many.

It's just a matter of self-interest for these people. They don't even pretend to have regards for any humanitarian concern. 

I digress.

Here we are. All struggling in one way or another. So-called leaders of the world continued to rule according to their whims and fancies. We're in the midst of a terrible storm.

It's bleak. I don't have any other words to go on. Our hope as believers is that we find comfort in Jesus and remember that we could too, experience the impossible - like Peter walking on water - by setting our eyes on Him.